Well the title about sums it up…
Staggered back to the House of Horrors on Monday after my one night escape. Felt quite knocked around really and not at all interested in any more torture.
I slept thru most of Tuesday, aided by a pill at night after all the zzzing during the day.
On Wednesday I had an appointment with the oncologist- no more I said, no more chemo , no more brachy.
Oh says he, well you have just dropped your survival chances to 35%, I am still going to have external radiation says I, well that put the survival rate back to 50% , down from the 65% of a month ago. Now we are only talking lasting five years here… And when was life prediction an exact science. I must admit to feeling a bit of a wimp about the brachy, no more chemo doesn’t bother me, I had four doses out of the expected five.
However my fanny feels like it has been gone over with a blow torch and seems to show no sign of easing off. This weeks torture was put off due to the pneumonia. I suspect the chemo would have been too due to the white cell count. Snitzel, like half the staff is away this week due to school holidays so I do not have to face him.
Joss comes down on Thursday and we have a really nice day, visit the base- boring, but I did fondle lots of Trelise Cooper clothes…. then head off to the Hamilton gardens- lovely.
I have an 8 am appointment on Friday and am up at 6 am- well you can’t be too early… I pack my mountain of bits and pieces. Have my last radiation for the week, back to the lodge and wait for T to arrive. I sit thru T having a cup of tea then off we gooooo!!!!!! We are home by noon. Havn’t had a Patricks Pie for a couple of weeks as my stomach has gone chemo queasy plus I have a slight headache all the time- guess it will go, eventually.
After two days at home the blow torch effect has dropped down to just a creme brulee torch level and I am beginning to think I may have the other two brachys- well maybe one. Snitzels registrar nabbed me and suggested that we space them out- I’ll say space them out, about a year apart…no, maybe at least two weeks apart.
I would like to know the state of the cancer at this point but I just get looked at blankly when I suggest a scan….
I have one more external radiation tomorrow so may try and hunt someone down…. I am still very tired but think I feel a bit better today. Walked down to the garden twice yesterday, once more than the day before. Wet today so activity is curtailed.
Most interesting thing to happen this week was the discovery that my great great grandfather on the paternal side was deported to Tasmania from Surrey for sheep stealing. On the maternal side I have staunch Kentish yeoman farmers….. Wonder if one nicked sheep from the other…..
So five weeks in the House of Horrors has not provided me with any enlightenment, no god like visions, no greater tolerance, certainly no great pain threshold, just same old, same old.